A friend - I shall call her 'Cassiopeia' - and I have been hard at work fixing up our mutual friend - I shall call her 'Elspeth' - on match.com. Actually, it was all Kevin's idea. Once upon a time, Kevin and I were chatting about Elspeth. Kevin said, 'Elspeth's so nice. Why isn't she with someone?' Good question! I mentioned this exchange to Cassiopeia who agreed to wonder the same thing, then immediately set out to do something about it.
Now, before anyone gets too het up, let me just note that if Elspeth were perfectly fine w/o a main squeeze, we would not have gone ahead with this idea. But we had discussed this before and knew this was not the case. And of course...
The first thing was to talk to Elspeth about it. There would be no seekret matchingks going on as they are sure to be disastrous. And we kinda, ya know, wanted Elspeth to know that in which we were involving her. Elspeth says, 'Okay, you girls have fun and knock yourself out.' So Cassiopeia and I set Elspeth up on match.com for the free 7 days. We wrote her profile, with some input from Elspeth. Elspeth declined to include a picture; postings with pictures get more interest; Elspeth did agree that we could send her picture to anyone with whom she I ended up corresponding.
Next, Cassiopeia 'winked' at a bunch of guys she thought Elspeth might like. 'Winking' on match.com is how you quickly tell someone you're interested in them. This was done with less input from Elspeth than one might expect bc Elspeth is so charitable and generous wrt her thoughts about others - even strangers - that she is excessively disinclined to say she finds someone unattractive. When Cassiopeia joked that Elspeth would agree to wink at someone without teeth, with scales (currently mid-molt), etc., Elspeth replied that, well, you never know, maybe he had a childhood illness that caused him to lose all his teeth and maybe he's got scales bc.... When pressed at what she found physically attractive, we were able to establish a useful guideline: If Cassiopeia found someone attractive, she didn't wink; if she found someone unattractive, she winked at him. Apparently, for every guy Cassiopeia found unattractive, Elspeth found something positive likeable adequate acceptable about him.
Match.com sends you pretty much daily emails with profiles of tons of people that (duh) match your stated likes. Cassiopeia developed a twitch in her eye after winking at so many guys.
Next, I corresponded by email with several of the guys who responded to Elspeth's/Cassiopeia's winks. That was a little odd. I had to remind myself to sign the emails 'Elspeth' and not 'Annie'. It was a little weird when sometimes, just for ease (bc Cassiopeia had winked at a boatload of guys), I'd decide to let an email correspondence wither w/o discussing it with Elspeth. It was also a little odd imagining that I was Elspeth and what would Elspeth say, what would Elspeth reply to, basically: WWED?
As an aside (I have so many sides), I just want to note that, while I understand the desire one might have to see a picture of someone who's winked at you, I don't understand how lack of a picture could render one speechless. E.g., in his reply, this one guy said something about how since she's new to match (we put that in her profile) she might feel uncomfortable posting a picture, but that it is nice to have a face to put with a name. That sounds like a reasonable comment. E.g., another guy said that he'd love to email her but she doesn't have a picture posted. Huh? You have her email address, but bc she hasn't posted her picture, it's impossible for you to email her? You couldn't maybe, you know, exhange emails with her for a while first to even see if you're interested in say, anything, anything else at all about her? You have to see what someone looks like before you can even talk to them? I know there's all that blather about how men are more visual blah blah blah, but come the fuck on, dude. Moron. Needless to say, we I did not continue that email correspondence.
At some point, although the email correspondence didn't get exceedingly personal, it got to the point where Elspeth had to pick up the emailing or talk on the phone with the guy bc the chat went from the general to the particular. I wonder if any of the guys figured out that there were two writers; my email style was chatty yet along the lines of brief letters/notes. Elspeth's style is more to the point, no frills.
Clearly, Cassiopeia and I were out of the picture when it came time to talk on the phone. Elspeth's chatted via phone with a few guys and it appears that it's a go for at least one IRL date coming up. Elspeth had the nerve to put the kybosh on Cassiopeia and I lurking in the background of her date, so we won't be live blogging it. I wish she would let us lurk bc I'd really feel so much better if someone - i.e., us - were there. Again, Elspeth is so charitable and generous that I worry she won't think about safety. Mind you, Elspeth is no spring chicken, but she's just so dogdamn nice. The best we'll probably be able to do is to encourage her to go someplace very public; get her to tell us where she's going, with whom and when; and to report to us afterwards.
At first, Elspeth didn't seem too into this match.com business; it was as if she were indulging us by letting us put her on match; wink at guys on her behalf; email with them; etc. But her interest has grown and she's about to go on her first match.com date. Cassiopeia is so proud of her. Cassiopeia puts off a bit of a hard shell, but she's a romantic deep down. She goes on about how wouldn't it be great if Elspeth married one of these guys? And, since Elspeth isn't about to give birth, shouldn't she and her husband at least name their pets after us? As for me, I'm not so romantic. If she has a few enjoyable dates: great. If she gets some action: great. Basically, if she has some fun: great.
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