Pinchita likes to snuggle under the covers. Here she's snuggling between Kevin's legs and under a blanket. Football season's started and this is how Kevin and Pinchi will spend much of their time together over the next few months.
Wow. Well, it has been a long time since I last posted. I really don't know what all happened, that is, I can't really pinpoint anything that kept me away (e.g., I didn't break all my fingers), but I'm glad to be back.
Sometimes it just seems like the world takes off from me rather speedily and, before I know it, a chunk o' time has passed, yet where am I in relation to where I was before the world took off? That is, I don't feel like I've done anything, achieved anything. Now I feel a bit like I did in this post from my old blog, i.e., where I'm pulling back into myself, creating a buffer zone so that I do/feel/think/etc. things that are important to me.
As I wrote that bit about "done anything, achieved anything", I wonder what all I'm supposed to have done or achieved. Sometimes I wish I had tunnel vision or were so focusedly driven re: just one thing. Then I would just do that thing/live life centered around that one thing (or just a couple of things) and never think about much else. It would kind of remove a lot of choices for me, which sounds like a negative, but if I were that focused I might not mind it or even notice. Then again, I might feel like something was out of balance (whether or not I realized what was out of balance) and might then wish I could do something about it.
Thing is, that isn't the way I am. Although I can try to incorporate some of that personality into my life, it would take an enormous amount of effort to recreate myself, all without knowing whether or not that's a good idea. Maybe I could incorporate enough to be pleased with the change.
Do most people wonder/worry about their personal evolution? Sometimes I wish I didn't bc I spend a lot of time feeling like I should be evolving toward something, like I'm always a project still being developed, a work in progress. In some ways, that sounds delightful. In other ways, it sounds tiring and unnerving. Why don't I just stop and say that's it, work is complete, this is the finished piece? And not just wrt anything deep; why do I learn new things in knitting or crochet? Why have I tried canning for the first time this summer?
Perhaps those aren't good examples bc I do enjoy doing things with my hands. I like the feeling of creating a shawl or making my own jam (it's so much tastier than the store bought stuff). So I guess I do/learn those things bc I enjoy doing them and also like the end result.
Maybe the question is better posed as why don't I just get up each day, do what I do every day, go to bed and repeat day after day? I think part of the attraction of this approach (at least, its attraction for me) is that life is safer this way. Of course, life isn't more dangerous ever since I learned the Kitchener stitch; that's not quite what I mean. If I don't do/try new things, I can't fail.
Failure stinks. I imagine there are probably some people who are nonplussed by failure. Not me. I am not a fan of failure, although I've failed at many a thing already in life. But I suppose that failure is inevitable and, in the end, can be beneficial. I recognize this so, in a way, I might be a bit of a fan of failure. I mean, I can't really get mad about failing bc it's like making mistakes; everyone makes mistakes. So I just feel the fail for a bit and then eventually get around to getting over it. Or at least past it; some failures linger and I imagine some of them linger longer in my memory than anyone else's. I guess that's like how people (read: me) are their own worst critic.
Well, time to peel my leg skin off this wood chair (ouch!) and seize the day.