anniemiz

Plan B

Well, Dear Readers, I've decided to go with Plan B.  No, not that Plan B.  Plan A was to get a philosophy PhD and then get a job teaching philosophy (that's the highly abridged version, btw).  I've been working at Plan A for some time now, yet have decided to switch to Plan B.  Plan B is to work with animals, most likely as a veterinary technician, and preferably in a veterinary hospital, veterinary specialist, a shelter or in a research lab (i.e., a lab working on vet drugs, not a lab testing human drugs on animals).

A number of factors went into this decision; I'll just do a brain dump here.

• Time: It will take a long time to get the PhD.  I'm working on a MA part-time now; that will take a couple of years.  The PhD takes 5 years, at a minimum.  We're looking at at least 8 years before I can look for a job.  Edited to add: If we take into consideration the speed at which I've been progressing, we're looking at >8 years.
• Financial: My MA is self-funded.  One course = $2,500.  I have to take 8 or 10 courses for the MA.  At 8 courses, that's $20,000.  (The PhD programs are generally funded; it's unwise to pay for a PhD yourself, unless you have $100,000 to spare; job prospects and pay are not so good as to warrant taking on $100,000 in loans).
• Job market: As mentioned above, there are quite a few more candidates than there are jobs.
• Qualification: Because the job market is so tight, I could expect that most and best jobs go to graduates of the top institutions.  Most people use The Philosophical Gourmet Report's ranking of PhD departments.  (There are certainly disagreements about The Report.)  So I'd want to be a graduate of a top institution.  A couple of years ago, I was fortunate enough to get into 3 institutions on the Report's list of the approximately 50 top departments.  Unfortunately, all the offers were unfunded.  I don't expect that I will do any better in the future; i.e., I think that's the closest I will get to securing a funded PhD position. 
• Chance: I've often read/heard people talk about the role of chance in philosophy PhD graduate admissions and job hiring.  E.g., I've heard the former described as a 'crapshoot', a 'roll of the dice', etc.  I have no idea how much chance has played a role in my experience, if at all, but I'll put it out there as something the possibility of which I would need to accept if I were to continue.
• Personality: I'm not sure I'm a good fit for academic philosophy.  I sense an atmosphere of competitiveness; I think I'm ill-suited to such an environment.  I'm quite content competing with myself; I have no interest in competing with others.  Years ago, in my corporate life, one Big Shot Exec asked Another Big Shot Exec (they had very different styles) if they thought the firm benefits more from competition between employees or cooperation between employees.  Another Big Shot Exec was quite certain that competition was more beneficial (and that was reflected in his style), while One Big Shot Exec was quite certain it was cooperation (and that was reflected in her style).  I agree with the latter and, fortunately, I was working for her at the time.  I'd much rather work with someone else as opposed to compete against them.  There has been some discussion about the field's atmosphere, so let me be explicit about:
• My comments reflect my experiences and perceptions only.
• My comments do not describe the entire field, departments, sub-departments, etc.  To be sure, there are great collaborations in the field.  And I have met many wonderful people; some have been exceedingly helpful and generous with their time and advice; others are perpetually interesting; some are flat out just great people; and many are all kinds of good things put together.
• So, while I am delighted to note the very positive experiences I have had these last few years, I must also admit that I do not feel as comfortable as I would like to feel, especially if I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life.
• Bottom line re: these caveats: It's not you, it's me.
• Fun: The fun parts, for me, are reading and thinking about stuff (which is basically done alone) and talking with other people. I do not imagine myself enjoying certain other responsibilities of the academic philosopher.  It's a rare person who enjoys every aspect of their job, however, I think that working at the less enjoyable aspects within an environment to which I am not well-suited is a recipe for significant and recurring unhappiness.  I don't need/want that. I think I may be better suited to the life of an armchair philosopher, rather than an academic philosopher.

As to why go into veterinary work:

• Time: It will take approximately 2 years to complete 70 credits (see here for one program's curriculum).  There are a lot of courses, but most are <2 credits.  Also, some programs are online (see the linked curriculum).  NJ has two vet tech programs.  One is at Camden Community College.  That would be really far to drive on a regular basis and, sorry Camden people, but Camden is, shall we say, less friendly than optimal, so I wouldn't go there for personal safety reasons.  The other one is at Bergen Community College.  That's also a bit of a haul to drive on a to and through a very congested area on a regular basis.  True, I used to drive to classes before a couple of times a week, but I imagine that drive was much simpler than the drive to Bergen.  Now, IIUC, the program there is some kind of joint program with other county colleges, including the county I live in.  They probably offer some of the requisite courses there and that's about a half hour drive away.  Thing is, the Bergen program has probational accreditation and that makes me a little nervous.  I'm totally open to going to school online.  The program at Purdue looks interesting.  Now, they do say that online students typically take longer to complete the program bc they're working full-time and/or have family obligations (probably why they chose to do it online in the first place), but I don't think those factors are as significant for me as it is for others.  And I'll guess that I have any humanities requirements well covered. 
• Financial: Well, I thought it would be less expensive than a philosophy MA, but 70 credits at $255 each = $17,850.  Hmmph.  I certainly expect to be able to work more while following the online program so that should help financially.
• Job Market: Excellent, according to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics.  Earnings aren't great, but a) they're more than I'd make as an unemployed philosopher (although some have found other ways of making a living); b) I live in one of the highest paying areas of the country so I'll earn toward the higher end; and c) if I specialize (which I expect I'll want to do, maybe oncology), I'll earn more.
• Qualification: I really don't expect to have much problem completing the program.  I hope I don't end up having to remove both feet from my mouth.
• Personality: I think I'm a good fit for the veterinary field.  I'm very comfortable with animals; I like animals and animal people; it strikes me as more of a team effort (note, however, that, as someone pointed out to me, 'There's no team without ME') and I'm very good in cooperative efforts.  I've also had the opportunity to be a consumer of advanced and unusual veterinary services, what with the various illnesses of our cats, and I think it's fascinating.
• Fun: I expect that I will enjoy veterinary work more than I would enjoy the life of an academic philosopher.  When I imagine myself doing the different types of work, I imagine more enjoyment and reward (which, for me, produces enjoyment) from veterinary work.  In fact, I find myself smiling at many prospects.  Of course, I could be way off; I hope I'm not.
• Edited to add: Physicality: I like doing stuff with my hands, as readers may have noticed from posts about cooking, knitting, doing stuff around the house, gardening, etc.

Now, this isn't a done deal bc I do need to do some more research on the veterinary side of things.  I've done some preliminary research, but I want to make sure I have a complete picture of things before I go hurtling down that path.  I do have some misgivings about making this switch, but that's a whole 'nuther post.  Right now, I have to have lunch, do some other stuff and head off to work.

The Unbearable Lightness of Blogging

Blogging's been kind of light and lowfat lately, what with me working on a paper and, by extension, my freaking problems.  Well, maybe not lowfat, what with some of those recipes.  And there will be more!  Not all mine, of course.  Kevin made a deliceux dinner the other day: mediterranean chicken in puff pastry with new potatoes and green beans.  I took pictures of him making it, but forgot to take pictures of the finished product.  I'll take pictures of the finished product next time he makes it, which can't be too long bc he has extra pastry in the freezer (yes, he made the pastry himself!), and I'll post the whole thing, recipe and pictures, then.

This was one of his meals for our third Saturday dinner thing.  He got some of the ingredients from the farmers' market that morning.  There's a farmers' market in town on Saturdays during the summer and fall.  Everything he got there was so fresh and tasty!  The potatoes, the beans and the strawberries for the strawberry shortcake (I made that, but again I forgot to take pictures of the finished cake!).  There's such a difference between fresh from the garden and store-bought.  Having that farmers' market is such a delight.

It makes me want to plant a vegetable garden!  But I have to be realistic: right now, there are zero flowers in front.  I usually plant annuals, but this year so far there's nada out there.  I think I'll take a page from my neighbor's book and plant perennials.  Actually, I might take some cuttings from her yard and plant them in the fall. I picked out some red carpet tulips to plant in the fall, but what to do when the tulips are past and the stalks are died back?  Perhaps I should intersperse a few later blooming plants among the tulips so that it doesn't look so bare when the tulips are gone.  I'll have to consult Sandy next door.  I also have an empty area under a tree in the front yard.  I usually put annuals there, too.  She also has a front yard tree and has some kind of lush leafy perennial there.  I think I'll have to get some of that, too.  The annual flowers don't grow well under the tree anyway; they're never quite as nice as the ones along the walk that get more sun.  Funny, the two neighbors that have lived in that house while we've been here have been great gardeners.

The other thing about having a vegetable garden here is that it's 99.9999% guaranteed to be eaten by critters such as skunks, possums, raccoons, groundhogs and whatever else lurks around out there in the backyard.  I'd need a fence: tall enough to discourage jumpers/climbers and dug deep enough to discourage diggers. 

So anyway I just emailed the guy a draft of the first section (no, not the one paragraph introduction, sillies) of the paper.  I hope it doesn't suck.  That's the spirit, innit?  The next section will be on Lewis's criticisms of universals and I'll start on that on Friday.  Actually, I have a draft of it, but it's, shall we say, very colloquially written ('universals stink more than Lewis originally thought').  I once took a very helpful business writing seminar at which they offered one especially important piece of advice: Just start writing.  Write and don't go back to edit anything.  Ignore typos, redundancies, poor word choice, grammar, structure...just get the stuff you want to say down.  Go back later and edit.  I find that very helpful, although it's so tempting to stop and fix things, mull over word choice, etc..  Do I always do it?  Noooo, but it really is good advice, honest!

Today I visit dear old Mom.  I try to see her on a regular schedule of every other Thursday, although that doesn't always work out.  Kevin took a day off recently and we went out to Amish country, PA to pick up a glider and ottoman brother Greg et al and we ordered for Mom.  Today I'll drive it up to Mom's, unless the weather is very bad.  It's in the back of Kevin's truck, which is open.  It's wrapped in blankets and plastic, but it's not waterproof and I don't want to drive up if it's going to get soaked through.  If that's the case, I'll just drive up in my car and bring the chair and ottoman another time.  Although maybe I could fit the ottoman in my car.  I drove the truck out to PA the other day bc I'd never driven it before and I wanted to have some experience driving it before doing so alone today.  He's had it for maybe not quite a year, but I've never had occasion to drive it.  It was a little odd driving a big truck after driving my little car, but I felt pretty at ease with it.

She usually has somewhere(s) she wants to go and, bc she doesn't drive (never learned), she saves that for when I visit.  Now, she does get rides from others, but she doesn't like to burden them (surprise, surprise) so she saves non-essential trips for me and gets rides to the doctor and other appointments from my brothers.  I'm not sure how she's going to do with the truck.  I'm bringing a small step so I can get in the back of the truck to unload the chair.  She could use that to get in the truck (bc it's kind of high) so we can go wherever she wants to go.  I'll see if she's comfortable with that.  Otherwise, it will have to wait until next time.  If nothing else, there's always cleaning I can do while I'm there.  I reckon tomorrow I'll finish the kitchen counters and cupboards and maintain what I cleaned last time.

Uh oh!  Miles is taking off with a flash drive that has my paper on it!  Nothing is safe around that cat.  Kevin bought two large tomatoes from the market and put them on the counter only to find tooth marks all around both of them later on.  Miles loves to carry stuff around in his mouth.  Apparently, those tomatoes proved too big for him, but, based on the number of tooth marks, he tried for a good long time to drag them off, play with them and then lose them under furniture only to be discovered when we notice a trail of ants going to and from the offending decaying vegetation.

Just as a side note, I typically publish posts in the morning even though I may write them another day at another time.  E.g., I'm writing this Wednesday evening (technically, very early Thursday morning).  I stick with the morning publishing time so that it's predictable for regular readers; if there's nothing posted by 9:00 AM, there probably won't be anything posted that day.  I don't know what made me think to write that, but there it is.  Oh!  I think it was bc I'd caught myself making a few mistakes that wouldn't be mistakes except for the fact that I post later than when I type.

Speaking of cats, tomorrow's cat blogging will be on Edison and Clomicalm, the wonderful wonder drug that stopped his inappropriate urination (i.e., peeing all over the house).

Still speaking of cats, poor Nosey is locked in the bathroom. We need to do this periodically to get a urine sample out of him to test his sugar: we leave him in there w/an almost empty litter box.  That ways we know for sure that it's his urine in there.  We also test it for blood and ph.  He's had a tiny bit o' blood in his urine for a while now.  One specialist said it's nothing to worry about, it's such a small amount.  IIUC, it's not uncommon for dogs to have a little blood in their urine.  We're not real comfortable just letting it be; we're trying to figure out what Nosey's freaking problem is that's causing even this small bit o' blood in his urine.  The test strip we use to test for sugar also tests for blood, ph and a bunch of other things.  He's had an x-ray recently that didn't show any stones.  He'll probably go in for an ultrasound next.  Fortunately, he does not appear to have any pain around urination.

Sometimes it seems like a cat clinic around here.  Right now we have three cats on medication.  Edison gets his daily life-saving Clomicalm (so called bc I was going to kill someone or something if he didn't stop peeing everywhere).  Nosey gets insulin 2x/day and a vitamin B shot 1x/week.  Dolly gets methimazole every day, budesonide every day, chlorambucil every third day and a vitamin B shot 3x/week.  Sometimes I think I should be a vet tech.  Oy.

Update: My Freaking Problems

So. In the post, My Freaking Problems, I blogged about the following exceedingly bad habit of mine:

So yeah, as mentioned before, my class paper will be a compare and contrast between Lewis (the above paper [edit: New Work for a Theory of Universals] and Against Structural Universals) and Armstrong's theory of universals.  My challenge, besides writing the thing, is to get it done on time.  I have a horrid habit of being very late with papers, so much so that I'm too embarrassed to admit how many papers I still have to hand in.  That's gotta change.  If Obama  (and David Bowie) can change, dagnabit, so can I.

Yes I can!

Well, sort of.  It's a good news/bad news kind of situation.  That is, I've gotten a lot farther on this paper considered in proximity to the due date (in this case, 6/15) than any other paper.  So that's very good news.  The bad news is that I don't know that I'll be able to produce a finished product by 6/15.  In fact, I don't think I can unless my powers of comprehension go into overdrive.  Unlikely.  If I get as far along as I expect to by the due date, I'll guess I could use another few days to finalize it.  I hope that won't be a problem.  I'll touch base soon and see what's what wrt getting an extension.  Kinda bummed if I'll need an extension, but kinda pleased that we're talking about an extension of days.

Back to good news: in that previous post, I enumerated some specific problems that contribute to my lateness.  I've made some progress in those areas.  Here are those specific problems, though shortened.  Fuller versions are in the original post.

1. I don't stick to a topic.  This is a biggie.  I can move goalposts with the best of them (where 'them' = 'the Bush administration').  I've stayed with the topic so far, although there's a chance it will focus a little tighter and be about structural universals.  I consider that acceptable.
2. I don't stop reading about it. Another biggie.  This time, I've managed to restrict myself to a) the two Lewis papers; b) Armstrong's lecture text; c) reviewing parts of Armstrong's Universals; d) reading parts of Mumford's David Armstrong.  This is an especially positive improvement for me.  In the past, I would have read (or died trying to read) Armstrong's entire oeuvre; the Lewis papers plus every paper or book that cited those papers; every SEP article that mentions universals, states of affairs, particulars, properties, laws of nature, etc.; and so on.  I mean, just way too much to try to take in, process and, very practically speaking, use in a 5000 word essay.
3. I overdo understanding the material.  I haven't done this, at least not yet.  There's still time.  Sometimes this is inevitable in that I end up making sure I understand material on an aspect of the subject that is eventually not covered in the paper.  But I could probably be proactive and better at identifying what will be the ultimate focus of the paper, or at least very close to it.  Avoiding problem #1 helps in a big way toward avoiding problem #3.  In this case, I had a very general topic.  I did not have a topic like, 'Structural universals suck'.  I might end up arguing something along those crass lines, but I couldn't know at the start what I'd focus on/what the argument would be bc I hadn't read the Lewis stuff yet.  I'm still not sure bc I'm not at that point yet.  This is always a very nervous stage for me.  When I settled on the topic, I had read most of the Armstrong stuff I needed to read, although I can't say my understanding was sufficient to evaluate it in light of others' criticisms.  I hadn't read the Lewis stuff before, so that was new.  So I'm basically hoping that, when I find that I understand the material, there's something interesting to say.  And that I'll recognize that something interesting, understand it and its implications, and be able to express it.
4. Probably related to #3: I go about understanding the material in the wrong way.  I.e., I focus on the details, take a long time to understand the details, and leave the big picture stuff until the end.  I've improved somewhat here.  I don't think that what I've done in the past is the worst way to go about things, but I have wondered if it would help me understand the details if I had and kept at least a basic understanding of the big picture in mind.  I've tried to do that this time.  Wrt this problem and #3, I caught myself a couple of times heading off into the long dark night of the detail when I didn't need to, that is, it's important, but it will likely fall far enough away from the focus of the paper that I should spend time on other stuff.  Although I don't totally understand something, I'm aware of it so that if it turns out to be useful I can always go back to it.  Of course, there's nothing wrong with understanding every detail of material, but it may not be an option when there's a deadline involved.
5. And then I think there's fear.  There.  I said it.  Fear that my paper will suck.  Suck beyond compare.  Suck without peer.  Hmm.  Haven't done as well with this as with the other problems.  This problem probably motivates some of the other problems, e.g., over-reading or over-understanding.  Over-reading is motivated by fear that I'll miss some universally-acknowledged important reading on the subject.  Over-understanding is motivated by fear that I'll - gasp! - get something wrong.  It seems like this is my default attitude so I have to actually remind myself: that this fear is unrealistic; that everyone makes mistakes; to do my best and accept that I'll make mistakes; that it's more important that I learn from my mistakes (bc it's guaranteed that I will make mistaked; it's not guaranteed that I'll learn from them); that 'all will be well', as Jane Bennett says in my absolute favorite novel, Pride & Prejudice.  What's the worse thing that could happen to a person?  I pretty much figure death or maiming is the worst thing.  Even if my paper stinks, I certainly don't think it will cause death or grevious bodily harm to anyone, or even a much lesser injury.

My Freaking Problems

Do you ever have a day during which you feel lot you got a lot of stuff done?  Or made a lot of progress on something?  And not just any stuff or something, but the right stuff or something, i.e., the stuff or something you should be doing and not the stuff you a) would rather do bc it's easier or fun or whatever and/or b) do iot avoid doing what you should be doing?  That's the key: doing the right stuff.  Bc I can easily fill my day doing useful yet not the most important stuff.  E.g., purging the house of clothes, housewares, etc. to donate or throw out could take up a whole day.  And while it would be nice to clear that stuff out, it's not the most important thing at the moment.  It will probably never be the most important thing at any moment which is fine bc the important thing is that the important things at any given moment are the important things that I do.

Anyway, the point of this is that I got a lot of the right stuff done yesterday:

1. read David Lewis's New Work for a Theory of Universals; took notes in the fervent hope that I will fully understand it after another reading or seven; there was originally a typo here that called it New Wok for a Theory of Universals which I'm glad it wasn't bc that's sure to be an exponentially more complex argument
2. did an estimated EIGHT loads of laundry in the background to item #1; is this item as important as item #1?  Noooo, although a complete lack of clean underwear lends a sense of urgency to getting at least one load done.
3. did the usual other stuff around the house...tidy up the kitchen, scoop some litter boxes, made a couple of phone calls, etc.
4. performed the basic tasks of humanity (showered, ate, cuddled a cat here and there and there and there, etc.)

So yeah, as mentioned before, my class paper will be a compare and contrast between Lewis (the above paper and Against Structural Universals) and Armstrong's theory of universals.  My challenge, besides writing the thing, is to get it done on time.  I have a horrid habit of being very late with papers, so much so that I'm too embarrassed to admit how many papers I still have to hand in.  That's gotta change.  If Obama  (and David Bowie) can change, dagnabit, so can I.

One might wonder, what's my freaking problem?  Well, I'm afraid I must admit to multiple problems.

1. I don't stick to a topic.
2. I don't stop reading about it.  I have this irrational fear that I'm going to miss something really, really important and really, really obvious.  Of course I am.  I can't possibly read everything that is relevant and important on the topic.  Nor could I cover all the relevant and important stuff in a normal size paper so I shouldn't worry about missing something; instead, I should focus on setting boundaries on what material I will consider.  Depending on the topic, a paper covering all the important stuff could be a lifelong project.
3. I overdo the understanding of the material.  What does that mean?  Perhaps that's not the best way to put it.  What I mean is I think I need to understand every iota of whatever material I'm writing about.  Well, perhaps not every iota; if I don't need to cover a section and I don't think it will inform what I am writing about, I don't go over it with a fine tooth comb; e.g., I won't worry about fully understanding the last section of yesterday's reading (which is a fortunate thing in this case, let me tell you).
4. Probably related to #3: I go about understanding the material in the wrong way.  I don't think I do it in the best, most efficient way.  I struggle getting the details right, which takes time, and leave the big picture until the end.  I wonder if things would go smoother and faster if I posit a big picture first and then flesh it out with the details, correcting the big picture as I go along.  Slogging through the details of each section of material in question isn't a problem until a deadline is involved.
5. And then I think there's fear.  There.  I said it.  Fear that my paper will suck.  Suck beyond compare.  Suck without peer.  That it will be used over coffee or beers to regale other students and/or professors.  Okay, I don't really think it would suck bad enough that it would be a punchline.

That's it.  Well, those are all my freaking problems that I can think of right now.  I hope that's it.

Nearing the End, Sort Of

This semester's class meetings are almost over.  The professor finished his lecture material today, so our last meeting next week will be an open format thing where we ask questions, revisit earlier stuff, etc.    Our paper is due mid-June.  The class was condensed, time-wise, in that we met twice a week for the second half of the semester.  So we have an extra month to work on the paper.

I had thought of doing a compare and contrast kind of thing between Armstrong and Chisholm's state of affairs metaphysics.  Not sure what the focus would be, although I was considering the former's rejection of and the latter's acceptance of non-obtaining states of affairs.  That idea was shelved bc the professor felt he didn't know Chisholm well enough to grade it.  So we decided upon a compare and contrast between Armstrong and Lewis.  I haven't read a lot of Lewis so this will be something new for me.  He suggested I read two Lewis articles, New Work for a Theory of Universals and Against Structural Universals.  Printing them out, I felt like I should plant a tree in return.  On to it, then.

For Those About to Cluck

It's been how long since I last blogged and what's the first thing I want to share with all of you?  That September was National Chicken Month.  A moment of silence, then, for all the chickens who gave their lives so that I could eat chicken salad, chicken parm, chicken soup, chicken pot pie, chicken caesar salad, sesame chicken, chicken stir fry, chicken marsala, chicken francaise, sweet and sour chicken, steamed chicken with Chinese vegels, bbq chicken, roast chicken, chicken chicken chicken...etc.  And let's not forget all the chickens who gave their lives so that Dolly could eat her medicinal diet of boneless, skinless chicken breast (she eats better than most).  Thank you, chickens of the world!

In other news, let's be proactive and note right off the bat that October is National Adopt A Shelter Dog Month.  Not that I'm going to do anything about it.  There's no room for a pup in my house unless I want Dolly to have a heart attack.

Speaking of Dolly, the vet comes tomorrow to check on her.  She's been on the transdermal prednisone for a while now, maybe 4 or 6 weeks and she seems to be doing better.  She's calmer.  Yaks a little less.  And her stools are better (bc, assuredly, you were wondering about that).  Here's hoping she packed on a few ounces.

The vet will also check out Smudgie and run the test to see exactly how much fungus remains in his system.  Apparently, it will never get down to zero fungus, but in the 3-4 fungus units range is acceptable.  He's on fluconazole and I think he's been experiencing some unfortunate side effects (diarrhea and vomiting).  At least that's what I've been attributing these infelicitous developments to.  I hope he, too, has gained some weight.

Eddie is Eddie: jumping on Dolly's head at inopportune moments.  Chasing Smudgie and Nosey around when they don't feel like playing.  Taunting Clara, in which case Clara is free to hammer down on Eddie.

Nosey just passed 17 lb.  Oy.  All that time and effort spent bulking him back up...now I hope we can pull in the reins!  He's doing very well; such a sweetie.

Clara is her usual self, pussfacing around the joint.  Pleading for the occasional chicken tidbit when she figures out that I'm giving some to Dolly.  It's very hard to say no to these guys, whether it's food or a primo spot on the bed or going out on the porch....  That's it; from now on I shall cultivate a will of iron when it comes to dealing with the kitties.

Re: work: I gave notice at Lincoln Park and will be leaving there in just over a week.  I like it there and I like the people, but I don't feel I'm really making much money there.  Plus, I feel kind of discombobulated on the days when I split my time between here and there.  I'll probably end up staying in Boonton and trying to get some kind of fellowship/work-study thing next semester.  Or simply a job at CUNY.

Oop, gotta go!

Update Shmupdate

Oh, peopoe, peopoe, peopoe, I haven't really been into/had time for blogging lately.  I feel much better now that my high bp's been addressed.  I was 115/75 at my week-later checkup.  I return in 3 months for another checkup.  Amazing what one little pill a day can do.  I asked the doctor about what else to do and he said lose weight and watch the salt.  The latter's not too hard.  I like a little added salt, but I came late in life to liking added salt, so I can go back to not adding it.  The former is the toughie.  I've been watching what I eat since my diagnosis -- nothing like the threat of stroke to get one's attention (or simply the threat of those narsty headaches returning; again, it makes one wonder what do people with greater, chronic pain do?  Do they not want to off themselves?) -- and been successful so far, but the challenge is long-term success, once the shock and awe of high bp has worn off.  One thought I've found helpful is the idea that if I'm not hungry enough to eat an apple, preferably a crunchy red delicious (photo courtesy of and (c) by NY Apple Association), I'm not hungry enough to eat anything (i.e., fries, ice cream, even a second helping of something healthy).  I meant to pick up actual apples at the store yesterday, to put some bite (so to speak) into the idea, but I forgot.  In its practical stead, I use rice cakes.  Granted, they're caramel corn rice cakes which have a little sweetness to them, but they're not scrumptious like cookies and cream ice cream, my current nemesis.

The cats are doing well, for the most part.  We're currently working on figuring out what Dolly's problem is.  Symptomatically, it points to inflammatory bowel disease (IBD).  The drug of choice is prednisone, which she received orally for a while, but which she also vomited up within 10 minutes of taking it (even with prepping her with pepcid and/or food).  So we're going to try and get us some transdermal prednisone to apply to her ears.  That will bypass her stomach.  We hope to see a reduction in vomiting and diarrhea and increased weight.  It could also be pancreatic insufficiency -- those test values were elevated, further suggesting that that's the problem -- but the vets lean toward IBD, based on her overall presentation.

A definitive diagnosis would require an endoscopy, but we've decided to just go w/the prednisone for a couple of reasons.  (a) If it is IBD, we're doing the right thing.  (b) An endoscopy would be another several hundred dollars, maybe close to $1,000, and we've had an expensive 1+ years or so what with Nosey's IBD and diabetes and Smudgie's head case.  Of course, if it's not IBD, we've wasted time.  It's possible that she has lymphoma, like her late littermate, Archie, but I tend to think not bc she's had this problem for some time now.  I think it would have progressed to lymphoma and she'd have been dead by now if it were lymphoma.  But, as Dr. Slade mentioned recently, the surprise diagnoses we've received lately teach us not to get cocky.

The others are  doing well.  Smudgie's eye is looking better.  He'll be on an anti-fungal pill for a while, probably months.  Sounds like getting rid of a fungus is a long-term endeavor.  His right eye hasn't returned to its former beauty, but it looks much better.  He has some kind of grey area on the right eye.  Don't know what that's from.  Also don't know how affected his vision is.  Even if he has lost some/all vision in that eye.  cats do phenomenally well with reduced or absent vision.  He'll be fine.  The important thing is that he no longer has a portabella thriving in his head.

Oh, man, the thing about hungry-enought-to-eat-an-apple thing is that if I am hungry enough to eat an apple, I'm usually hungry enough to gnaw off my arm.  Okay, where are those stupid rice cakes?  Nom nom nom.  And only one point each!

Wrt school:  :(  I did not have enough money to pay for school this semester, so the director kindly agreed that I could start next semester.  (I know what you're thinking: spend less money on cats and you'd have enough to pay for school.  Answer: not an option.  I'll give up pretty much anything else before I give up their medical care.  E.g., I've obviously given up fashion bc (a) I have no sense of fashion to begin with and (b) it's not as important.  That I only have a few outfits I can wear to work is less important than that I have healthy cats.  Anyway....)  I have to figure out something so that I can consistently pay for school each semester; otherwise, it will take me eons to finish with a one-class-one-semester-on/no-class-one-semester-off approach.  And I'm no spring chicken as it is.  Not that I'm ancient -- and they do say 40 is the new 20 -- but still: my time here isn't unlimited.  Plus, I'd like to graduate before I die of stroke.  So, with that positive attitude, I am thinking ever so hard about my options on this absolutely gorgeous Labor Day weekend.  Details on the decision will be forthcoming once a decision has been made.

Changes are ahead, nay, already afoot, although I am making sure to enjoy this lovely weekend.  This weekend is the town's annual Firemens' Labor Day Celebration.  Gawd, do they love their Fire Department here.  It's pretty much the social organization in town.  But hey, I love a a parade and yesterday was a great day for a parade.  We'll go to the carnival and fireworks tonight.  Now that we've cut down a few trees in the backyard, we could watch the fireworks from home, but we like to go to the carnival.  It's small and very little changes from year to year, but that serves to make it comfortingly (word?) traditional: you can count on it to be there every year.  For us, it's especially nice bc we can tote our chairs to the parade and to the fireworks.  We just leave our chairs and/or blanket or whatever, go enjoy the carnival and then come back to find them safe and sound for parking our butts to watch the fireworks.

Bonus goodness this weekend: we're catsitting our friend Carol's cats, Tigger and Choco.  I have pictures to prove it so they'll be guest cats for Friday Cat Blogging later this week.

Kevin's been working hard all day, weeding and mulching.  Perhaps it's time I go and be  productive as well.  Or perhaps not.  Or maybe just look productive.  But my work here is done for now.  Hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

A Masterly Plan

Well, The Plan must needs modification.  To that end, I expect to begin the master's program at CUNY in the fall.  I say 'I expect' bc it hasn't been formally finalized; so far, things have been discussed and arranged via email.  CUNY's on spring break now; I expect to finalize things after the break.

It'll be on a part-time basis bc there's no funding for MA students, obvs.  Further obvs, then, I'll have to work more iot pay for the gig.  There's someone leaving work soon; I might be able to take on some of her schedule.  I'd prefer to do that than switch jobs bc I like where I work now, the scheduling's flexible, I like the other people, it's super close to home so negligible commute, etc.

Even further obvs, this isn't ideal, but this is the deal.  I am glad that I'll actually be in a program.  I've been fortunate in being able to take courses as a non-matriculated student, but I must admit that there's been a psychological down side to that: feeling like I don't belong anywhere; like I don't have a home base; like a poseur/wannabe; etc.  Now, some or all of that psychological down side may be self-imposed, but I don't think it's unreasonable.  It will be nice to be less in limbo.

I was a bit surprised at the comments about transferring master's credits in this thread about PhD applications.  I had no idea that few to no master's credits might be transferred when entering a PhD program.  Transfer policies sound rather variable, so I'll not worry about it now.

Random Update

Oh, gosh, I haven't been posting much lately, other than about cats and cancer.  There's stuff about which I'd like to write and post, but haven't been in the mood to sit down and actually write and post.  Hmmm, howzabout I do a recap here?

School: Currently working on a paper about the knowledge argument (KA) and the ability hypothesis (AH).  While reading Jackson's original KA stuff, something in there reminded me of the AH, so I thought I'd look into the two a little more.  It can be very frustrating to think about something, try to come up with something interesting and just a smidge original...and yet, nothing.  I suppose it shouldn't be surprising when thinking about something that's probably had some 87,000+ things written on it.  Every time I think of something that at least I consider interesting, I look around a bit to see what, if anything, others have said about it only to find that I'm late to the party.  I've finally settled on some ideas to write on and I'm just going to go ahead with them.  I'll post more later after I've actually finished the thing.

Wrt grad school: Still grumpy and uninterested in writing about it.

Cats: Edison continues integrating into the group.  He's slept with us for a few nights now.  We had been putting in his room at night bc he just would not let Smudge and Nosey rest in peace.  He's been better the last few nights, although it takes him a while to settle down.  He's settling down in general, too.  Becoming less a constantly crazy, active kitten and more a lazy layabout adult cat.  He is, in fact, settled down right next to me for a daytime nap as I type.

We're still working on regulating Nosey's insulin intake.  Nosey has the dubious distinction of being the longest feline patient of our vet's to get regulated.  Changes to his insulin dosage are made based on his roughly every three week fructosamine (sp?) testing.  The upper range of normal is 450 (I forget the lower range; maybe 80? 120?).  When first diagnosed, Nosey was in the 900s!  He's now down to 599.  He seems to drop roughly 100 points with each increase in insulin.  He's currently at 3 plus a smidge units of insulin two times per day.  He's gaining weight.  He's up to 13.7 lb.  We'd like to see him at least 14 lb.  Up to 16 lb. would be good for him.  His activity level is increasing.  He plays like the Nosey of old: jumping in the air at the birdie toy, chasing after the string toy, etc.  He's just been taken off prednisone entirely; hope that works out okay and his IBD doesn't recur.

He's been aggressing towards Clara for a few months now.  At first, it seemed like he went after her when she went after Edison (she goes after him, and I mean, really goes after him, i.e., she's not just playing, at least once a day).  It was kinda cute bc it seemed like the big tuxedo cat was sticking up for the little tuxedo cat.  But we've since seen him staring her down and stalking her even when nothing's going on (as far as we can see, that is) and Eddie's nowhere to be seen.  Sometimes, when one cat gets all riled up about something, other cats get riled up, too.  Maybe it's instinctive.  I think that's what happens when Clara chases Eddie and Nosey reacts to the situation by getting all riled up himself.  I mentioned this to vet, who tells me that diabetes can be accompanied by increased aggression.  Guess that's what's going on with our little NoseyCat.  He never got into it with any of the other cats before, never had any aspirations of taking down any of the others.

Although I'd prefer none of my cats be diabetic, if any of them are going to be diabetic, I'm glad it's not Dolly or Clara.  Especially Clara.  I don't know how we'd get insulin shots in her 2x/day.  We were able to medicate her when she had IBD, but she was confined and very weak then.  I'd probably have to shoot her with an insulin dart.  And the last thing Clara needs is to be more aggressive.

Dolly's down about .5 lb.  She hadn't been getting her flagyl bc she'd learned that she could jump over the baby gate to the basement.  As long as she has an out, she uses it when we try to give her any medication.  Kevin's put up a makeshift door and we've just started giving the flagyl to her again.  (The doorway to the basement is in a very tight spot, almost too tight for a regular door that swings out.  The prior owners had one of those accordion type doors.  That was perfect except the cats could squeeze through even the tiny opening they could make on the side where it latched.  Smudgie has always had an open door policy: he abhores a closed door and always tries to open closed doors.  He picked apart the sections of the accordion door to make new openings to get through the door.)  Now we've got to get her weight back up again.  She's still in the kitchen.  We leave the doors open except for when we're about to medicate her.  I sure hope she doesn't figure that out.  But she doesn't go very far from the kitchen even when the doors are open.  After several months of having the doors always closed, seems she's become a prisoner of her own mind.  I think her life, in general, is better now bco her kitchen location.  She eats more.  She gets her medication regularly.  She gets more interaction w/us.  She gets less aggravation from Clara, who used to bother her several times a day, poor thing.  Clara really can be such the little bitch.

Dolly and Clara need dental work relatively soon.  Dolly will have pre-dentistry blood drawn at Nosey's next appointment and, if the blood tests are okay, she'll go in for a dentistry.  She now has gingivitis (who doesn't?) and some bleeding of her gums.  Both are preventable...if the cat allows tooth brushing.  Dolly don't play that.  Kevin cleans Eddie's teeth with pads made especially for cats.  He doesn't love it (Eddie, that is), but he's been getting it done since he came here so he's fairly used to it.  Clara had that ER trip a while back bco some infected teeth; the ER vet noted that she'll probably need to have more come out.

Fortunately, Smudge and Eddie seem to be well.  The vet noted that Smudge has lost some muscle tone, but he will be 13 yo next month (as will Dolly and, we estimate, Clara; Nosey turns 8 next month), so that's to be expected.

True to Crazy Cat Lady form, I'm currently looking into a sad looking cat that I've occasionally seen on the way to and from work over the last two months or so.  He looks like he's a totally outdoor cat.  Up until the other day, I had only seen him at night.  I was able to get a good look at him (could be a her, I didn't check) and he just doesn't look good.  He's got one grey eye (like Slim), although that mightn't be problematic ito proper care.  He was dirty and wet on his limbs, with some kind of clay color spread on one of his white legs.  He's very friendly. He did have a current town license tag, which is encouraging.  And it allowed me to give the town animal guy some identifying information.  I think I'll call tomorrow to see if he found out anything.  I just feel badly for the little critter, especially with yesterday being so cold, slushy and windy.  If he was outside, I hope he was able to find some kind of shelter.

Work: Work's pretty much the same.  There are times, however, when at work that I feel like I'm witnessing the decline of civilization.  We have a set-your-cell-phone-to-vibrate policy (the idea being that you wouldn't take a call in the library and you certainly wouldn't dream of making a call from the library).  If any place should be cell phone free, it should be a library.  I admit, I'm very picky and strict about the cell phone thing.  Not only should you not use your cell phone in a library, you shouldn't use it anywhere people have no choice but to be part of your phone conversation.  Now, I can't change the world, but I can make sure people don't use their phones in the library.  I ask people to take their calls outside.  When it's very cold, I ask them to keep it short and quiet and take it in the kids' room in the back, where there's often no one else there.

Sometimes I do feel like I see a lot of selfish behavior at work, especially with children who are unaccompanied by an adult.  I thought I'd further explain what I mean by the decline of civilization, but I find my heart's just not into it at the moment.  I don't want to depress myself with a foray into the lack of civility, politeness and consideration.  Perhaps another time, then.

Home: Well, the builders were going to start our garage earlier than March, if the weather allowed, but the weather decided to actually act like winter.  Tant pis, bc I could've used a garage for my cute little car these last few days.

Kevin and I had a nice Valentine's Day yesterday.  I usually work at the library's Socrates Cafe on Wednesday nights, but I cancelled it due to the weather.  Kevin cooked up some quesadillas and we exchanged gifts.  I gave Kevin a map to track our travels.  There had been a big section of cork board on the den wall, but that's gone after it was remodeled.  But he had pinned up a map and marked off where we'd been.  He'd often lamented the loss of that cork, ugly as it was, so I thought he'd like this map, which is mounted on foam just so you can stick pins in it.  Kevin gave me two pairs of amber earrngs he got in Paris when he was there last month.  Smoove.  Plus a few other things.  Of course, we got each other the requisite delicious chocolates from Rose City Chocolatier in town.

Health:  I don't have cancer!

On that note, I'm off to do some stuff around the house, so Kevin doesn't think I sit home eating bon bons all day (note to self: put bon bons on grocery list) and then get back to thinking and writing about the KA and the AH.

Bats, Shmats

So I've switched topics for the philosophy of mind paper.  Seems I often switch topics.  I start thinking and reading about one topic, but then I get drawn to something else.  In reading around for the one topic, there's often something that grabs my interest more than the original topic.  Sometimes I make a few switcheroos before I finally settle on something.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if switching paper topics is just a subconscious way to procrastinate actually writing the paper?  I could see that.  But how would I know?  I could just say that I'm following my topical bliss when I move from one topic to another.  Or that if there's a topic that moves me more than the original topic, then I should write on the moving topic bc it's more interesting to me so I'll be more interested in thinking, reading and writing about it.  I suppose it could be these things and still be a subconscious means of procrastination.  Hmm.  I'd better add navel gazing to this post's categories.

One of my late papers is for phil of religion.  My first topic was around Roger White's "Epistemic Permissiveness" article.  Now the topic is around God's goodness.  I'm sure I moved through a few other topics before finally settling on this.  Wrt those late papers, both professors very kindly said they'd still take them.  Quite the bit of luck, that.

I wonder if there isn't something positive to just sticking with a topic or being assigned a topic and just setting out to write the paper already.  Maybe one day I'll find out!

I switched from Nagel's bats to Chalmers's zombies (briefly) before settling on Jackson's Mary and his knowledge argument.  In his "Epiphenomenal Qualia", Jackson argues the following:

1. Before her release, Mary has all the physical knowledge about human vision there is to have.
2. There's some knowledge about human vision that she doesn't have before her release.
3. Therefore, not all knowledge is physical knowledge.

"And the polemical strength of the Knowledge argument is that it is so hard to deny the central claim that one can have all the physical information without having all the information there is to have."

There's something about that #2 that bothers me, but I haven't yet put my finger on it. It seems like he's sneaking in something...maybe an assumption...or perhaps an equivalence...or a characterization of knowledge...there's something tucked in there that I don't care for.  I'm thinking it has to do with the knowledge that Mary obtains upon her release and seeing in color.  I'm thinking I don't like that idea of knowledge.  But there is something new going on when Mary comes out of her room and sees colors for the first time.  Is that knowledge?  If it is, what kind of knowledge is it?  And, even if it is some kind of knowledge, is it really a problem for physicalism?  If it isn't knowledge, what is it?  And, whatever it is, does it still pose a problem for physicalism?

#1 is a little bothersome, too.  This business about saying Mary has all the physical knowledge about human vision and then saying that she doesn't bc she gains some new knowledge when she sees color for the first time.  It strikes me that the two premises don't lead to the conclusion, but rather presuppose it.  The argument is supposed to prove that physicalism is false, but how do they know that, say, Mary, while she's still in her black and white room, can't have her brain stimulated in such a way that results in her seeing color?  If that was possible, then Mary would know that and could undergo that while still in her room.  And this observation strikes me as a little odd, so I'm thinking I must misunderstand something in there.  Although maybe there's supposed to be something further to know.  Maybe it's a difference between undergoing that brain stimulation and seeing color instead of knowing that that would do the trick.  But is there really a difference?

I think some people think that this idea that maybe Mary doesn't have all the physical information about human vision can be avoided by saying that God knows everything about human vision.  I'm not sure how that's supposed to help.  Assuming that God exists and created everything just like we typically think of a creator god, then God is omniscient and of course knows everything about everything, including human vision.  But if you plug God into P2, that doesn't make sense bc God can't not know something.  Even if you think that perhaps God can't know what it's like for a human to see something in color, there are ways around that.  God is omnipotent, so he could imagine what it's like for a human to see color.  Or God could take human form and then he'd see as a human, not like a human.  Maybe I've got it wrong wrt what attributing complete physical knowledge to God is supposed to do.

Maybe the idea is supposed to run like Kripke's asking if God had to do something extra to make c-fibers and pain identical: did God have to do something extra to make physical knowledge all there is to know?  Hmm, I don't know if that's a correct transfer of the idea.  I have to go over the reasoning there bc I recall thinking, when I read it, that there seemed to be room for arguing the other way, i.e., that the c-fibers and pain could be used somehow to argue for physicalism.  But, alas, I don't recall why I thought that.

Back to it, then.